I normally don't like to post about not so fun stuff here, but the not so fun stuff is part of life too, so here goes.
As a teenager I suffered from depression pretty bad, I would say it lasted until I got out of my first marriage. Every once in a while now I can feel myself slip into that rut again, but I am pretty good at realizing what is happening and can take control of it. Whether it be just giving myself some extra free time away from responsibilities and worry, or working on a project for myself or whatever.
The past little bit I have felt not myself, and I am having a hard time getting out of it this time.
I'm not sure if it just has to do with the way my body deals with things, I am hypoglycemic and I have an under active thyroid. Depression is a symptom of both of these. I also get stressed out fairly easily, for me it can even turn into chest pains. I had chest pains a couple days ago for pretty much the whole day. I am not a person to just take drugs to fix things either. I think eating right and taking care of myself can do wonders, herbs and vitamins are good too. I was on medicine for my thyroid for awhile, but I didn't feel like it was doing anything except for making my hair fall out and damaging my body in other ways. I stopped taking it and went and had my thyroid checked and I was just borderline low so they told me I would be fine not taking it unless I started noticing symptoms again. I know I should eat better, not that I eat awful, but I eat a bit too much sugar when really I should be eating like a diabetic. I crave sugar though! Also a symptom of hypoglycemia. Why in the world do I have to crave the thing that I shouldn't be having! Grrrr!
I think it helps to write all this, it makes me think it through more. As I am sitting here I have been thinking of what I need to do to help myself.The first thing would be to cut sugar out of my diet which will be super hard for me. I need to keep my house tidy, because if my house gets chaotic, I feel more chaotic. I need to spend more time doing nothing, I am go, go, go all the time. I need to make an effort to work out regularly. I need spring and sunshine and warmth to come and stay. I need to make an effort to pray more. I need to make an effort to read scriptures more by myself and as a family. I need to rely more on my Heavenly Father that loves me.
I know that I am blessed in many ways, I have a wonderful husband that loves me unconditionally. I have three beautiful girls that also love me unconditionally. We have a beautiful cozy home to live in, and our needs are taken care of. I have talents that give me happiness. I could probably sit here all day writing my blessings down.
This little blog of mine is a blessing too. I am a shy person, I have a hard time opening up to people. I am the worst at making friends, even when I try it's really a struggle for me.
On another note my new calling at church is assistant compassionate service leader. One of the things that requires me to do is to know everyone, I laughed, Ha, ha!
Maybe, just maybe Heavenly Father knows what he is doing and he knows what I am in need of at this time.
Anyways, Thank you for being here for me my blogging friends, you mean alot to me.
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26 comments:
Those pictures are beautiful Amy - it's easy to get our eyes focused on other things - isn't it? Praying you have a week filled with God's peace and joy!!
"The Answer" by Shane and Shane...give it a listen. All those things you listed to do may help...but nothing will give you the complete comfort and healing you need and want. I pray you find true joy.
I think depression carries such a stigma that it's easy to not want to "own it". I was recently diagnosed with a prenatal depression, also caused by diet and hormones and stress... I've never been here before, but I relate to what you say about recognizing the signs and being able to do something about it. So I just wanted to say thank you- thank you for being frank and honest and real, and giving me hope and wonderful crafty ideas that inspire me. :)
Your blog may be cathartic for you, but it's really good for us too! :) (PS I also love the photos)
We are very much alike! I have the winter blahs combined with hypoglycemia and hypothyroidism too. Sometimes the symptoms just take over and I need to readjust life. Hope you feel better soon!
Hi, thanks for sharing. I would like to say that I too feel depressed, overwhelmed, etc sometimes. Some days are worse than others. Being a nurse, I decided that I would go see my doctor, she diagnosed me with PMDD or premenstrual dysphoric disorder and prescribed me a medication called Celexa. It works like a charm, and I am all for medication, which I understand why you are not, but incase you ever needed to try something different, here is some info. Hope things get better. SIncerely,
Laura
http://www.everydayhealth.com/info/v1m/pmdd?xid=msek_dlp-v1&ref=C1E4BB8E-9FF7-445E-BE46-C2D550780E73&utm_source=msek&utm_medium=CPC&utm_term=pmdd
I am sorry you are feeling this way. Winter is such a hard time to be happy anyways, for me atleast! You are so talented and I just LOVE looking at your blog, even though you have no idea who I am!! Keep doing the things you love and creating all these beautiful things, Hopefully doing all that you love will overcome your depression...
It's strange but I think a whole lot of crafty bloggers are introverts with a tendency towards depression (myself included). It's so nice that you have a warm, safe place to talk about how you feel. Sending you hugs...xo
My 16 year old niece was just put in a private, secluded "home" for a week in the hopes she would finally work through talking about what is causing her to be so depressed. She can't/doesn't get out of bed for days on end and her mom is as a loss at what to do for her!
I'm just heart broken for her. I do hope she gets the "tools" she needs to be able to work through it and be able to identify when it's coming on.
I'm so glad that you are now able to see when you need to readjust yourself and your priorities, just to over come these setbacks.
I will pray that God will give you wisdom and peace in Him as you face this challenge and seek to make these changes in your life. Your blog is an encouragement to me.
You are a very brave and gorgeous lady. Thise photos are just gorgeous. Keep listening to your body.
I too have panic attacks and depresson. They are not fun, the symptoms are not cool and it is hard to get over. It is a stigma in our "culture" to have these issues and heaven forbid you actually talk about it...but it is brave and cathartic to.
Thank you for sharing.
Ps...I too try to not go the medicine way, but I have discovered B100's really help me "control" the symptoms. Possibly this would help you as well? Keep the faith and know that there are many people out here that have NEVER met you, but feel you are an inspiration.
I think you are brave to share this!
I wish I could tell you what the magic bullet is, but I just wanted to relate that depression or just being plain bummed out is never fun. I recently discovered your blog as I was looking for interesting sewing/quilting projects or something, and I love your content so far and appreciate your honesty.
As for stress relief in the general sense, exercise equals happy endorphins and good health too. Also, I remember the first time I looked at fabrics in Hobby Lobby to buy fabric to make scrub caps, and seeing all the pretty patterns made me ridiculously happy; maybe a good project could boost your spirits too. Hope you feel better soon!
What a beautiful lady you are. Beautiful . . . cause look at those photos. And beautiful cause you are just honest and real. Authentic. I think that is why I love your blog so.
I have struggled with depression (post partem was severe) and just recently was diagnosed PMDD. You are not alone girl.
Keep on keeping on. :)
I to have 3 girls and had bad post partum after the first. My husband struggles with depression and anxiety. If you ever need to talk please email me.
Giving up sugar? That is tough. Good luck.
i so understand where you are coming from. I've gone through two boughts of depression since college, tough stuff.
You inspire me in so many ways! What a blessing your honesty is. Heavenly Father is on your side, you are indeed one of his precious daughters....
On my blog I put a quote from Mary Englbreit that says "arts and crafts keep you sane" And a comment to myself that I had not been doing enough!!!
Over simplified but I personally think it is true!!!
Hang in there :)
I just wanted to say thank you for being so honest and I hope leting it all out has helped you feel better about everything. Such beautiful photos of yourself too. I too am a shy person who doesn't make friends easily but am generally happy with my own company most of the time. I am finding this blogging world is a great tool for putting myself out there and inspiring me creatively. Thanks for being so brave. Going by your blog I think you're doing great and had no idea that you were shy.
I just adore this little blog of yours. Thank you for sharing yourself here. I too suffered from depression for awhile when I was younger and just thank God that I too can recognize it sneaking up now. SO I can squash it quick, LoL. And as for shy girl? no way! You can see your life and energy in every photo you take. You have a lot to offer this world. I wish you lived closer! xoxo.
wishing you a break in the clouds and sending love. Mx
You are brave, strong, talented and beautiful. Thank you for sharing all that you do. I believe that the blessings will be returned to you. Hang in there.
You are brave, strong, talented and beautiful. Thank you for sharing all that you do. I believe that the blessings will be returned to you. Hang in there.
Amy here is something diet wise to try to stop those sugar crazy cravings and help with the low Thyroid without meds....Wish I had know about this before mine failed.....Try juicing and add kelp powder to it.....Kelp powder can be bought in bulk from www.sanfransiscoherbs.com
also use sea saltfrom there. add niacin suppliment too.
I'm with Dana - you are beautiful! Those pictures are great!
I hope you get to feeling better. I had a really hard time when I lived in Utah. Every year around March it would get really bad. You can only handle the gray cold days for so long. Good luck with it all and I'll keep you in my prayers.
You are strong!
Thank you for being so completely open and honest. I've had so many of the feelings that you shared. Your words touched me.
You photos are beautiful and I can see your spirit shining through. I hope things are better for you soon! I'll be thinking and praying for you.
Nicely put. I appreciate your honesty. It is one of those things that people will talk about but rarely in first person. It certainly helps when you hear it isomeone real so all I can say is moi aussi.
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